Alyssa Mercante’s Cease-and-Desist Letter From Hack Lawyer Is Even More Embarrassing Than We Could Have Expected...
In a move that has (seemingly) the entire gaming community shaking their collective heads, Alyssa Mercante has officially sent a 'cease-and-desist' letter in an attempt to curb the activities of Kiwi Farms... How deep this goes, I assure you, you cannot prepare yourself enough...
Here's the Kiwi Farms official thread on the matter and they also continue a deep dive lolcow thread on her here
Instead of striking fear into the hearts of her antagonizers, her letter's proving to be a colossal misstep—one that will backfire in spectacular fashion...
First and foremost, let’s address the letter itself, a document that reads more like a poorly written manifesto than any kind of serious legal threat. The letter, penned by her "lawyer" (and I use that term ever-so-loosely here), Lane A. Haygood claims to be of Kamerman, Uncyk, Soniker & Klein P.C., but it's riddled with language and tone that can only be described as unprofessional, if not downright... embarrassing.
Take, for instance, this gem:
“If he fails to heed this friendly warning, we will be forced to change our policy. It is rare for someone to have such control over their own fate.”
This line isn't only dripping with passive-aggressive energy - but also - reads like something out of a bad crime drama rather than a legitimate legal document. Legal correspondence is expected to maintain a tone of seriousness and professionalism, yet... this letter strays far from that path. By couching what should be a clear and direct legal warning in such flowery language, Mercante’s lawyer inadvertently weakens the entire message.
And then there’s this line:
“Our concern is not with policing the Internet activity of a single person or even a whole forum, but in protecting the security and rights of our clients.”
This statement might sound noble at first glance, but it completely misses the mark. By emphasizing that they are not interested in policing the entire forum, her 'lawyer' sent a letter inadvertently signaling a lack of seriousness in confronting Kiwi Farms. It’s like saying, “We don’t care about most of what you do, just this one thing.” The message here is muddled, to say the least.
His LinkedIn account claims to be 'Of Counsel' to the Kusk Law Firm listed as the header in the threats sent to Kiwi Farms. That's a big no-no, as you'll see...
This lawyer dude is shady AF... His own personal website redirects to the actual KUSK Lawfirm that he is not officially a part of... So strange... and of course, the letter continues to flounder with another cringe-worthy moment:
“We recommend Gersh v. Anglin, 353 F.Supp.3d 958 (D. Mont. 2018) for an explanation of how things we think of as protected speech might give rise to civil liability.”
For a lawyer to suggest they “think of” protected speech in such a casual, almost dismissive manner is beyond unprofessional—it’s reckless. It suggests a fundamental misunderstanding (or, at least a miscommunication) of the complexities of First Amendment law, which is not something you want to see from someone supposedly handling such a sensitive case.
But it’s not just the content of the letter that’s problematic; the person behind it raises some serious questions as well. Lane A. Haygood, the lawyer Alyssa retained for this letter, is not exactly known for his "professional" decorum.
A hardcore leftist with a Twitter feed full of anti-Trump rants, Haygood’s public persona does very little to inspire confidence. For someone like Mercante, who's already struggling with public perception, aligning herself with this figure is a disastrous (yet not surprising) decision. It speaks volumes about her lack of judgment and the seriousness of her legal efforts. Of course he's since protected his twitter account after this letter went out. Shocker, I know...
In attacking Kiwi Farms, Mercante's chosen a battle she simply cannot win. The platform has a long history of weathering legal threats, and this poorly constructed cease-and-desist letter isn't to change that. If anything, it’s going to invite even more ridicule and antagonization from the very people she’s trying to silence. Although knowing her - that's exactly the intent in all this. She's thrown gasoline on the ongoing dumpster fire.
The internet is ruthless, and it feeds on weakness—this letter is the equivalent of ringing the dinner bell. People with their head on straight do not do this. It’s clear that Mercante’s legal strategy (if you can even call it that), is both misguided and counterproductive. In the end, nothing is going to come from this attack on Kiwi Farms, except even more trouble for Alyssa herself.
This entire situation is a textbook example of how not to handle online harassment. Instead of tightening her defenses and working quietly behind the scenes, Alyssa has drawn even more attention to herself and her vulnerabilities. In the world of the internet, that’s as good as painting a target on your back... But oh - maybe I shouldn't say that.
To her.. Like everything else - It's a veiled threat.
~Smash
Got my popcorn ready for this one!