This joke... is no joke. It's actually real. And its INCREDIBLE lol...
The gaming industry is in a... pretty weird place right now. Big AAA studios have been seemingly obsessed with pushing agendas, historical revisionism, and bloated live-service models that nickel and dime anyone daring to hop in to play a game - all while sacrificing the fun. But... then, every once in a while, an indie studio comes along and just absolutely nails it.
Enter Yasuke Simulator, a hysterical parody game that has me wayyy more excited than Assassin’s Creed: Shadows—and it’s dropping on the exact same day as Ubisoft’s latest attempt at rewriting history: March 20, 2025. This is comedy gold.
What Is Yasuke Simulator?
Described as a historically accurate (wink, lol) depiction of Feudal Japan, Yasuke Simulator lets players step into the sandals of Yasuke, the supposed real-life African warrior who served under Oda Nobunaga in the late 1500s. But while Assassin’s Creed: Shadows is drowning itself in Ubisoft’s signature self-seriousness and obligatory modern ideology filled with corporate consultation groups and board room charts to maximize profit, Yasuke Simulator looks like it's going to be an actual blast.
The game promises:
Epic Samurai Combat – Master katana combat and slice through enemies in style.
Secret Gear – The world is littered with hidden items to help Yasuke’s journey.
Ancestral Power – Unlock Yasuke’s supernatural warrior abilities.
Totally Realistic History – Because obviously, Feudal Japan had cars and machine guns... Right?
While Assassin’s Creed: Shadows is busy pushing its agenda with Yasuke as that "stealthy assassin" (historically, no... he wasn't at all), Yasuke Simulator lets you drive cars and use machine guns in Feudal Japan. At this point, who even needs accuracy? This is what gaming is all about—fun!
A Better Yasuke Story Than Ubisoft's?
Ubisoft’s decision to make Yasuke the co-protagonist of Assassin’s Creed: Shadows alongside a fictional female ninja already raised plenty of eyebrows. Many in the community saw this as political pandering over actual storyline driven narratives. Despite the real Yasuke being a bodyguard, not an assassin, they’ve shoehorned him into an AC formula that literally makes zero sense. But now, the hilarious irony? Yasuke Simulator, a game that knows it’s ridiculous, actually respects the character more than Ubisoft does.
Rather than pretending to be something it’s not, Yasuke Simulator embraces the absurdity of gaming. The whole - modern weapons, vehicles, and over-the-top action isn’t just a jab at the industry—it’s all just a solid reminder that video games should be fun first. Ubisoft, on the other hand, has been beyond obsessed with turning Assassin’s Creed into a historical fiction documentary that selectively tweaks the past to fit their own narratives and push a clear agenda.
AI-Generated Madness
Another hilarious tidbit? Yasuke Simulator proudly states that the developer uses some of its graphics and audio created using AI—a particularly bold move in an industry where AAA companies like Ubisoft are quietly already doing this but let's be honest - they would never admit it.
The studio behind Yasuke Simulator, HistoryAccurateDevelopers (yes, that’s their name), has been fully leaning into the joke. This is also the only game that I could find on their resume... But based on the looks of it, they are off to a great start. Between the deliberately over-the-top features and the tongue-in-cheek marketing, this game looks like it’ll do what Ubisoft won’t: deliver an actual entertaining Yasuke experience.
Yasuke Simulator vs. Assassin’s Creed: Shadows – Which One Would You Play?
Look, as many of you guys already know - I was already skeptical about Assassin’s Creed: Shadows for a number of reasons. Ubisoft’s track record with historical accuracy is spotty at best, and this game has all the hallmarks of another pandering, identity-driven project with at the end, no real heart.
Yasuke Simulator, on the other hand?
It’s stupid, over-the-top, completely unhinged, and looks way more fun. Almost like a GTA take on feudal Japan.
March 20, 2025, is going to be a showdown, but I already know which game I’d rather play.
~Smash
This gives me Deer Simulator and Squirrel with a Gun vibes and i love it. If it ever comes to console I'm absolutely buying it. Also i can't stop laughing at the release date for the game XD
When everybody is in on the joke, it works. When you bring out communist hacks to try to convince you that Yasuke was some important historical figure, it pushes an agenda.